creeped out

I went outside for a little late-night smoke break (because contrary to popular belief, 8 is late to me) and I was looking into my kitchen while walking up my driveway, and the shadows looked like someone was upstairs in my kitchen creeping around.  Freaked me OUT!  I'm the only one home, all alone, and I had exited via the back door on the bottom level of my house, so it is completely fesible that someone could be upstairs and I would have no idea.  And I don't believe in locking my doors (I live dangerously!) and I'm always oblivious to my surroundings and sounds.  So creeped out now.  I should start using precautionary measures for my own safety.  I prefer being alone in my home, I don't like roommates or people in general, and I assumed that I would live to an age where I could afford to purchase a nice sized living area that I could wander around alone.  Something about walking around a multiple-roomed home that you have all to yourself.  I'd love the solitude.  Maybe I don't like to share.  But, I'll end up maimed if I don't start locking the doors.  I should get a guard dog.  Nah.  Sharing with a dog would be too much for me.  Great, I have sufficiently creeped myself and now I'm all hyped and anxious, anticipating a dirty axe-murder to come lumbering down the stairs any moment.  I should have never watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre alone in the dark.  That crap really happened!

Also creepy, gay guys that wink at you.  Well not creepy, but what is up with that.  I got a a buddy, Josh who is of the homosexual variety and he is constantly winking at me.  Light my cig, wink.  Say hi, wink.  Ask a question, wink.  I'm always thinking, WTF Josh, knock that crap off.  It's strange.  I used ot be a winker, but people we misinterpreting it, so I ceased the winking.  That winking wanker.

I'm gonna be a NY ganster for Halloween, complete with a fedora and a tommy gun.  Pinstripes and a ves and a big 'ol tie.  I should practice my Italian mob accent, and use terms like "swim with the fishes."  Ooooo, can't wait!  Badass!