kumquats

I think people on elevators are weird.  Unless you get on with me or after me, it's too easy for me to assume you live on the friggen thing.

So, I hop on the elevator today and some dude is on there.  We've got cool little tv's on our ele that you can stare at to postpone eye contact and/or communication with other human beings temporarily.  As soon as I jump on the thing, this dude (who I will assume lives on the friggen thing) says "Welp, Gates bought something else today."  I had just gotten back from a smoke break, so I was feeling pretty good and I launch into this shpeel:  "Whoa.  Really?!?!  I hope he bought a small third world country.  You know, if he was smart, he'd buy a small third world country, nuke it to oblivion and turn it into a kumquat orchard.  The whole thing.  Then he could name it Kumquatia, and the people who work the third-world-country-turned-kumquat-orchard would be called Kumquatians, and they would be happy to work in the orchards all the time.  See, kumquats are delicious and under-rated.  The women would smell like kumquats and the hills would be alive with the sights of kumquats.  Children would worship the kumquats.  And with so many kumquats, he'd probably end world hunger, thus ending strife, bringing about a new era of world peace.  I have the answer to world peace, but the Man doesn't wanna listen.  That's why I'm just a paralegal, and Gate's won't buy a third world country."

I skipped merrily off the ele.  That's when I realized, the people on the ele aren't weird, it's me.  I just assume they are because they aren't like me and therefore must be strange.  I hope I don't run into that dude again.  I'd make for one weird ele ride.