I won't go back to prison
If I had gone to prison, I would never go back. I'll admit it, I'd die in a blaze of machine gun pops and fire. But first I'd got butt-ass crazy and demand some outrageous stuff, like a helicopter and like, a friggen cotton candy machine. Only because I'm sure if I was an ex-con, I wouldn't have had the deliciousness of spun sugar in a while. Running from the law makes me think that maybe you just don't have time to stop off at a carnival for a ferris wheel ride and party foods. blaze of glory. I should take proactives step immediately to avoid prison right now to prolong my life and virtue. The life of crime is easy to get into.
I am so damn excited for the Sopranos on AE that I'm thinking about the life of crime. Propaganda has got me in it's intriguing grips. Italians are dangerous. And HOT.
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My girlfriend is getting her master's in... I dunno, some kind of counseling. She wants to counsel prisoners. If you ever find yourself in the pokey, we could probably bake a cake with a file or a pistol in it and slip it to you. Just a thought. |
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No bullets? I guess she's gonna hafta file the pistol down and make a shiv out of it. :) I could never do prison. I'm way too impatient. |
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Hey, John Dillinger used a pistol shaped piece of wood, who says Fleur can't do something like that? Or she could just tell them the cake will explode. |
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Doooods, I would create an intricate spear out of a plastic knife. I would file it down to a razor sharp point on one end and filing a slit in the other that my elastic cord would fit in. The, I would painstakingly remove the elastic out of my underwear, weaving it into an elastic cord. I would slide the elastic into the slit, and use the elastic as a make-shift slingshot to fire my razor shar plastic knife at one of the guards, killing them by dead-on (pun intended) aiming abilities. The only flaw in my plan is, I don't know how to get out of my cell and escape after killing a prison guard. And, this plan relies heavily on having a plastic knife and elastisized undies. I'd probably have to whore myself for the knife. Damn, prison sucks. |
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Dude, all you have to do is start screaming after you kill the guard, then when help comes, pretend to faint. They'll come in to help and you can shank them with the extra shank you should make, then zip out, steal a gun and a taser off one of the dead guards and start firing. I dunno though, that kinda draws a lot of attention. maybe you should wait until the guard is really close to your door, then you could reach out and grab the keys off his lifeless body, drag him in the cell and steal his uniform. |
