Taboo part two

Wow, I had never considered the common male eating issues.  I have a friend (had a friend, thanks Tim) that had an exercise addiction and an eating disorder who was male, but that obviously is an extreme.  I admit it is difficult to imagine what the stigma is for a male to drop a few pounds without typical male ways.  As a female, I imagine you dudes staddle up to some gym, do a couple of bicep curls and call it good.  The point of the blogs was not the 'healthy' aspect, because I'm disgusted with how unhealthy females have become.  It's normal for me to respect people for obvious reasons: great intellect, good humor, decent personality, but I feel like ladies want recognition for how much self-control they seem to have in the way of eating.  Should I bow to your omnipotent will because you subsist on carrots and mustard and run 5 miles a day?  No, it's akin to someone lying to make friends.  Or, to me it is.  I hit a head yesterday listening to my friend jibberjabber about something so meaningless in the scope of life, but so incredibly hard for me to grasp.  I don't grasp normal healthy eating, I don't grasp the concept of eating to live sometimes.  Somedays they can control themselves enough not to eat, do I appluade?  The recognition they demand for such a "feat" is what I crave days I eat.  It's difficult for them to resist the temptations of food, which in our day, I feel is more taboo than the temptations of the flesh, while I have difficulties justifying eating.  Beyond basic weight control, I have not really come around to the basic common principal that I need to eat to live.  I feel more that someone, a doctor, friends, family, literature, have duped me.  Hearing friends talk about eating only almonds all day feeds this feeling of being lied to.  And jealousy.  Why can she go without almonds all day and I can't?  I want to throw a tempertantrum like a three year old, but I also understand why I can't.  While I read and comprehend the detrimental effects of malnutrition, the real reason I strive for balance in my eating ways is my body.  I haphazardly flew into an eating disorder unknowingly because I felt my body was incompetent.  Now, it will forever remain dysfunctional.  Shrug.  You can't ever go back, but that doesn't mean I don't miss it.  Like smoking.  It's bad for you, but a stress reliever, and when you're stressed, you want a cigarette.  When I'm stressed, I blame food, my body, blah and blah.  It's a weakness, but as humans, we are all weak. 

 Blah, lost the damn thread, stupid thought refuse to remain coherant!!!!