Sexpresso
Last week a friend told me that coffee stands were numero dos in the city on the list of sex-sellers; second only to strip clubs. Laughing, I didn't quite believe her. Then I thought about it. I have male friends that know the best coffee stands and rank them on the hotness of the baristas working there. Good coffee never is a factor in these equations. This morning I was watching some morning news show, Today I think, and it ran a whole piece on sexpresso. Now Seattle is home of the triple tall mocha with whip cream served by a naughty police officer barista. You can order a coffee and have bikini-clad eye candy while your milk is steaming.
I literally live in a land of coffee. Coffee-lovers unite in the espresso-grind of Seattle, the myriad of coffees, roasters, speciality drinks, customizable caffiene fixes, brewing techniques, the list goes on and on when it comes to Seattle area coffee joints trying to set themselves apart. Until recently, every coffee joint and espresso house based their principle on being the creme de la creme of espresso drinks. Baristas and roasters each had their own time tested way of extracting the best creme from a shot of espresso, their brewing technique allowing the full flavor of their specially selected roasted beans to shine in every cup of go-juice. Things are extreme in Seattle when it comes to coffee.
I used to be a barista and I'll admit that I not only have a border-line unhealthy addiction to the brew, but I also have a penchant for amazingly good coffee. I know every kind of drink, have created a few of my own and still believe I pull the best espresso shots, not to mention the most luxurious foamy steamed milk ever. I've perfected latte art, creating drinkable art with pictures made in the milk foam and espresso. (I know, my talents are endless and vast) I've worked at Starbucks (you had to go to a Starbucks barista school to learn their trade) and road-side coffee stands. I liked the independence of the coffee shanties. You got regular creepy dudes who tipped way too much, but I never thought about it. I liked making good coffee. Now t&a are the leading sellers of espresso drinks. I remember Playboy's Gilrs of Starbucks issue. Half naked women wearing the signature green Starbucks apron, and nothing else. I also remembered wearing that apron, smeared with milk foam and chocolate sauce, I never found it kinky or particularly sexy. I wish I had saved my apron, could come in handy.
I don't know why I hadn't thought of this idea. Not that I am a show-your-tits kind of gal (I take pride that not many have seen my goodies), but I'm pretty man savvy. I should have caught on. I'm sure it will turn into some feminist nazi shouting at the dude who created the Sweet Spot (one such shanty where the baristas wear naughty halloween costumes) about degrading women. I happen to be all for this idea. I don't think titty bars and scantily clad barista joints are degrading to women, I find them more degrading to men, yet ultimately it's a freedom of choice thing. If some idiot dude wants to throw a 5 dollar tip to the chick with fake boobs and an eating disorder for his 3 dollar coffee just 'cause he can fantasize about touching her naughty parts that night, more power. If she wants to stick to the "The tips are great and it's the only way I can put myself throw college. Besides, I'm comfortable with my body." routine (we all know you're studying interior design , you ain't gonna cure cancer with that college degree), more power. It's about your ideals and what you are willing to do for money. It's just difficult to grasp that Seattle, a city so hell-bent on pretentious coffee consumption and rare coffee beans pooped out by possums would allow such a thing to exists. I mean for goodness sake, you can't even TOUCH the stippers at Seattle titty bars. You can't put a dollar bill in a top-less ladies g-string, but you can get a latte made by a lady will pour the shot into your cup using her buttcheeks. Weaing a thong swimsuit and stipper shoes. What happened to the sanctity of coffee?
And yes, there are rare coffee beans that are eated by nocturnal animals, passed through the animal's digestive track, collected, and sold for an astonishing $130 some-odd-dollars per pound. Ridiculous.
I literally live in a land of coffee. Coffee-lovers unite in the espresso-grind of Seattle, the myriad of coffees, roasters, speciality drinks, customizable caffiene fixes, brewing techniques, the list goes on and on when it comes to Seattle area coffee joints trying to set themselves apart. Until recently, every coffee joint and espresso house based their principle on being the creme de la creme of espresso drinks. Baristas and roasters each had their own time tested way of extracting the best creme from a shot of espresso, their brewing technique allowing the full flavor of their specially selected roasted beans to shine in every cup of go-juice. Things are extreme in Seattle when it comes to coffee.
I used to be a barista and I'll admit that I not only have a border-line unhealthy addiction to the brew, but I also have a penchant for amazingly good coffee. I know every kind of drink, have created a few of my own and still believe I pull the best espresso shots, not to mention the most luxurious foamy steamed milk ever. I've perfected latte art, creating drinkable art with pictures made in the milk foam and espresso. (I know, my talents are endless and vast) I've worked at Starbucks (you had to go to a Starbucks barista school to learn their trade) and road-side coffee stands. I liked the independence of the coffee shanties. You got regular creepy dudes who tipped way too much, but I never thought about it. I liked making good coffee. Now t&a are the leading sellers of espresso drinks. I remember Playboy's Gilrs of Starbucks issue. Half naked women wearing the signature green Starbucks apron, and nothing else. I also remembered wearing that apron, smeared with milk foam and chocolate sauce, I never found it kinky or particularly sexy. I wish I had saved my apron, could come in handy.
I don't know why I hadn't thought of this idea. Not that I am a show-your-tits kind of gal (I take pride that not many have seen my goodies), but I'm pretty man savvy. I should have caught on. I'm sure it will turn into some feminist nazi shouting at the dude who created the Sweet Spot (one such shanty where the baristas wear naughty halloween costumes) about degrading women. I happen to be all for this idea. I don't think titty bars and scantily clad barista joints are degrading to women, I find them more degrading to men, yet ultimately it's a freedom of choice thing. If some idiot dude wants to throw a 5 dollar tip to the chick with fake boobs and an eating disorder for his 3 dollar coffee just 'cause he can fantasize about touching her naughty parts that night, more power. If she wants to stick to the "The tips are great and it's the only way I can put myself throw college. Besides, I'm comfortable with my body." routine (we all know you're studying interior design , you ain't gonna cure cancer with that college degree), more power. It's about your ideals and what you are willing to do for money. It's just difficult to grasp that Seattle, a city so hell-bent on pretentious coffee consumption and rare coffee beans pooped out by possums would allow such a thing to exists. I mean for goodness sake, you can't even TOUCH the stippers at Seattle titty bars. You can't put a dollar bill in a top-less ladies g-string, but you can get a latte made by a lady will pour the shot into your cup using her buttcheeks. Weaing a thong swimsuit and stipper shoes. What happened to the sanctity of coffee?
And yes, there are rare coffee beans that are eated by nocturnal animals, passed through the animal's digestive track, collected, and sold for an astonishing $130 some-odd-dollars per pound. Ridiculous.
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dejavu on
And that would add a whole new meaning to the term, "This coffee tastes like crap." But it's an interesting concept if a person is gourmet enough, and I'm not.
neelsn on
Hmmm, I admit that my coffee bars are sometimes chosen on the basis of good looking, single customers in the crowd, and friendly baristas who are eligible is another plus, but I go to lots of coffee places all over, lived in California for 30 years, and live in a college town now, and I haven't seen a titty coffee bar, or one that encourages skinsations in that way. I don't know that a scone is improved by seeing the server falling out of her top. There was a cafe in SF Bay area where the girls wore tank tops and flirted, but those girls weren't busty, and the place didn't have good A/C... so I thought the skimpy wear was a result of the heat... or a way to show off tatoos.
