Vista's compatible with ASS

I had the pleasure of being my firm’s Vista guinea pig. The youngest member of the staff, and dare I say the most computer proficient, I got myself a brand new Dell, complete with Vista. Having never ‘migrated’ an old computer to a new one, I took the time to figure out what was required to get my inform from my XP OS to my new Vista. I had no info on Vista, save for the fact that it was new. And an operating system. Migration research led me to believe that switching files from the old ‘puter, that I had named Prudence, ‘cause she was a prudey bitch, to the new sleek Dell was as simple as a migration wizard and a trip or two between the two computer, hooked to the network of course. Low and behold, it took two attempts at ‘migration’ and two days of opening and re-saving files to get my new Dell complete. And that was just file transfer. The new Dell’s, (named Stu, short for Stupid) Vista-poo rejected damn near everything. My printer didn’t work, wrong driver, other network printers didn’t work ‘cause they are connected to XP machines. I can see people, but they can’t see me as being on the network. Don’t even get me started on the fiasco of ‘workgroups,’ that’s a fucking joke. I can no longer use my scanner, I think that is an additional driver issue. Bought myself a rocking new wireless keyboard and mouse with a myriad of buttons to mistaken push, yet meticulously set to my preferences, and it won’t work. Vista hates my new keyboard and mouse. Those awesome buttons don’t work, my keyboard and mouse are reduced to typing and clicking, no page surfing, no music controls at my fingertips. And it’s confusing. Finding a single file on a network I am very familiar with was like traversing the friggen Amazon with my eyes closed. Nothing is called the same, although, as far as I can tell, the only up grade I can see is the spiffy sidebar, that lets me know that Seattle has a constant weather forecast of 49 degrees and overcast, chance of rain. Trial version of McAfee slowed Stu down to the pace of the Special Olympics and I prompted disabled UAC, User Account Control because it reminded me of siblings and their incessant questions (because I SAID the world is round dammit, that’s WHY!) And I think the worst of it is, I can’t do simple things like change the stupid ass blind-person iconS that are as large as a damn apple on my screen to something more manageable. Do icons need to be the size of your fist? Did I get the geriatric version of Vista? And why oh why is it no longer compatible with Winhelp? WTF, mate? Winhelp was awesome, I miss it already. And when Vista is sucking the most ass, it asks if the information it provided you was helpful. If that’s not insult to injury, I just don’t know what is.

I am a computer ignoramus, with zen like patience. If I get frustrated with this, it's got issues.