Terminating Vista
Anyone a Terminator fan? Remember how Skynet became self-aware and thus began the series of events that lead to Judgment Day? Sarah Conner and John Conner and bad ass Arnold set out to try to stop Skynet impending self-awareness, but alas, this could never happen (because it’s not in the script) despite that Miles dude of Skynet dying in the Skynet explosion? I’m pretty sure Vista is Skynet, in Microsoft terms.
I am almost positive the Vista I have installed in my computer is going to become self aware at any moment. I think the damn thing is effing with me, establishing it’s aware boundaries. Soon it is going to decide I am not a worthy user and will take me out. Or lock me out. Either way, I have never been more afraid of a ‘puter and what it may or may not do. Ever. Every day I come in the damn thing has changed. It used to be little things like toolbars missing from my programs. My configurations altered, my setups changed. Then I started getting automatic updates installed, although I had turned it off. And McAfee magically re-installed in my computer, it’s has resumed inane pop-ups and alerts, but I uninstalled the entire program ‘cause I hated it so much. Then it uninstalled my wireless keyboard and mouse. Try to log onto your password protected computer without a keyboard or mouse, luckily I have more than enough USB ports and saved the installation cd. The most alarming happened today. My User Account Controls, one of the very first things I turned off, has been turned back on. My computer is password protected, and I had become paranoid that some computer genius moonlighting as a maintenance man was effing with me when I’d leave at night. I had begun changing my passwords everyday. I have realized, Stu, my computer, is out to drive me crazy, operating on Vista. Stu is becoming self-aware.
Occasionally, it won’t let me save to my own hard drive, saying I don’t have privileges. You shitting me? This is my computer, you horse’s ass, I’ll save where ever I want. Hell, I’ll take an effing dump in my own Public folder if I feel like it, ‘cause it’s mine. I don’t like it when thing tell me no. Especially when they’re mine. My microwave doesn’t refuse to cook for me. Sometime the toaster oven doesn’t work, but it’s not mine, it’s my boyfriend’s; I understand the potential for it’s animosity. Stu hides things from me; sometimes I can find a particular file, some days I can’t. I’ll try to find something via Documents, it not be anywhere, only to open a program COMPLETELY unrelated and find the damn file. And you know what, no matter how many times I find an Excel spreadsheet using Adobe, I still can’t open it in Adobe. Sonofabitch. It’ll take away my spiffy sidebar, to which I want to know: How am I supposed to know Seattle’s weather without my sidebar ready and available at all times? It’s not always rainy and gray and I need to know the 10 minutes out of the day when it is nice enough to be outdoors, ‘cause that’s when I should take lunch. Sometimes it will change my sidebar, so that I won’t have my calendar, I’ll have a stupid slide show of pictures. And just where did those pictures come from, because I sure as hit know there aren’t any downloaded by me and I deleted all pre-installed one. Or maybe I’ll have a puzzle instead of my clock.
Microsoft has created a program that will lead to Judgment Day. I wholeheartedly expect to see Arnold bust through my office doors and take out my computer with a shotgun. It will be an earth saving mission.
I am almost positive the Vista I have installed in my computer is going to become self aware at any moment. I think the damn thing is effing with me, establishing it’s aware boundaries. Soon it is going to decide I am not a worthy user and will take me out. Or lock me out. Either way, I have never been more afraid of a ‘puter and what it may or may not do. Ever. Every day I come in the damn thing has changed. It used to be little things like toolbars missing from my programs. My configurations altered, my setups changed. Then I started getting automatic updates installed, although I had turned it off. And McAfee magically re-installed in my computer, it’s has resumed inane pop-ups and alerts, but I uninstalled the entire program ‘cause I hated it so much. Then it uninstalled my wireless keyboard and mouse. Try to log onto your password protected computer without a keyboard or mouse, luckily I have more than enough USB ports and saved the installation cd. The most alarming happened today. My User Account Controls, one of the very first things I turned off, has been turned back on. My computer is password protected, and I had become paranoid that some computer genius moonlighting as a maintenance man was effing with me when I’d leave at night. I had begun changing my passwords everyday. I have realized, Stu, my computer, is out to drive me crazy, operating on Vista. Stu is becoming self-aware.
Occasionally, it won’t let me save to my own hard drive, saying I don’t have privileges. You shitting me? This is my computer, you horse’s ass, I’ll save where ever I want. Hell, I’ll take an effing dump in my own Public folder if I feel like it, ‘cause it’s mine. I don’t like it when thing tell me no. Especially when they’re mine. My microwave doesn’t refuse to cook for me. Sometime the toaster oven doesn’t work, but it’s not mine, it’s my boyfriend’s; I understand the potential for it’s animosity. Stu hides things from me; sometimes I can find a particular file, some days I can’t. I’ll try to find something via Documents, it not be anywhere, only to open a program COMPLETELY unrelated and find the damn file. And you know what, no matter how many times I find an Excel spreadsheet using Adobe, I still can’t open it in Adobe. Sonofabitch. It’ll take away my spiffy sidebar, to which I want to know: How am I supposed to know Seattle’s weather without my sidebar ready and available at all times? It’s not always rainy and gray and I need to know the 10 minutes out of the day when it is nice enough to be outdoors, ‘cause that’s when I should take lunch. Sometimes it will change my sidebar, so that I won’t have my calendar, I’ll have a stupid slide show of pictures. And just where did those pictures come from, because I sure as hit know there aren’t any downloaded by me and I deleted all pre-installed one. Or maybe I’ll have a puzzle instead of my clock.
Microsoft has created a program that will lead to Judgment Day. I wholeheartedly expect to see Arnold bust through my office doors and take out my computer with a shotgun. It will be an earth saving mission.
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