pencil

Of late, my writing instrument of choice has been the standard pencil.  Not a fancy mechanical pencil in a dizzying array of neon transparent colors with its varying lead widths and ergonomic shape, cushioned finger grips and luxury replaceable erasers.  I prefer a regular ‘ol yellow number 2 pencil.  It reminds me of standardized testing.  Keeps me true to my child.

I keep three Dixon Ticonderoga 1338-2 soft lead yellow pencils sharpened to pin prick points on my desk, within reach at all times.  If I move to a different area of my huge u-shaped desk, I take all three with me, lining them up like sentry for battle.  If one reduces to a less than adequate point, I have two replacements.  Once two have become unacceptably dull, I get up, walk over to the electric sharpener and sharpen all of them.  It’s my routine.  If I don’t sharpen them all, the world will implode, I will lose all my intellect, become useless to the firm and be forced into early retirement because I will be unfit for work.  I don’t mess with the laws of the Universe.

I have no idea how I acquired these three pencils, I just know that they are wearing down to little nubbins and will need to be replaced with new virgin pencils.  Except, there are no regular pencils in the office.  I have to order them.  Unbeknownst to me, there are a plethora of ‘regular’ pencils to be purchased!  There are different shapes, and different lead degrees.  Even different colors, EVEN antimicrobial.  WHAT!?!?  I know.  Amazing. 

I reviewed and compared all the different types of pencils and settled on the Ticonderoga Millennium Cedar Black #2 soft lead pencils.  A dozen.  I should be set for a month.  I figured black would look more intimidating sitting on my desk, and cause my notes, letters and tasks to be written with more authority.  I’m considering these pencils to be my Black Knights, because the pen(cil) is mightier than the sword and nothing is mightier than the pen(cil) with a sword.  I’m so excited to receive them tomorrow and sharpen their long, sleek new flat ends to black points.  These pencils are like, true to my grown-up child.

Watch, they’ll show up tomorrow and be those fat pencils they gave to kids that couldn’t write or were a threat with sharp instruments.  Who’ll look intimidating and authoritive then?