gym upgrade
Luxury is a gym with slate floor showers.
I changed my gym. I got tired of being hit on by 5’5 muscle builders. I got tired of waiting for the lat machine. I got tired of waiting for an elliptical trainer. I got tired of trying 5 treadmills before I found one that worked. My gym wasn’t doing it for me anymore. I broke up with it like a dirty lazy boyfriend without a job. Good riddance good sir!
My new gym is luxury. My new gym has a woman’s only workout area that’s the size of my old gym. It makes me feel like I’m a part of a super cool club and that is our clubhouse and we have a hand painted wooden sign that says “No boyz allowed!” and we wear Wonder Woman underwear and plan our world conquests. I’m working on our initiation handshake right now. The Women’s Only area is full of real equipment, not pink yoga balls and foo-foo girly weights.
My new gym has three floors of working out variety. With tvs on the cardio equipment and about a million different studios for group classes. The Spin/Cycle room has a view of downtown Seattle, and since I’d spend the most time there, I’m pretty happy. It’s called the Executive Gym. For executives, like me – or so I like to think. There are people waiting around to give me a new sweat towel, take my old one, refill my water bottle or just gush at how great I am for getting out of bed and working out. Because we all know it’s easier to turn off the alarm, curl up with the Rabid Beast and sleep those extra two hours. Because the gym is geared towards those that have Made It and are Successful, they provide swanky things, like a conference room, just in case you feel pressured to hold an impromptu workout/brainstorming session with the colleagues or clients.
The women’s locker room could be a spa. And I don’t even like spas. Not true, I actually have never been to a spa, but I know enough about them to make a fairly accurate assessment. It has slate floors and giant shower stalls made of plated glass. I could lie down in the private shower stall, and have enough room to make a shower stall angel in the glorious water sprinkled down upon my nude and freshly worked body from the rain shower head. It even has large, comfy looking leather sofas and giant flat screen tv to watch just in case you wear yourself out applying makeup at one of their 32 mirror and marble vanity tables. That has perfect light. It also has a steam room AND a sauna and full length lockers and irons to use and hairdryers to use and a clothing steamer to use and it just rocks.
The gym is the third most likely place you could find me if I’m not 1) at work or 2) at home. It’s got to be nice. I’ve upgraded. Did I mention it has a rock wall? Instead of the dirty lazy boyfriend without a job, I’ve got the swanky computer programmer with awesome dancing skills. There’s no going back. It’s love.
