hair cut

I need to get a haircut.  I hate getting my hair cut.  I have issues with hairdressers.  Or stylists, or whatever they prefer to be called.  Stylist around here have problems, to say the least.  It’s so trendy to be a stylist.  They are so cool and funky and left-of-center that I just can’t relate.  I’m not cool.  Nor funky, and I’m more halfway between right and left, and maybe a little underneath.  Or overtop, depending which way you’re standing. 

I’ve had some hair run-ins too.  One hairdresser was receiving transmissions from God, or Joan of Arc or maybe Dennis Rodman.  I ended up with her because I didn’t like my boring highlights, I wanted my poop brown, all one shade hair back.  She said, do a shade lighter underneath, it’ll give you the dimension you want without the typical ‘highlighted’ look.  I thought: Sweet!  An hour and a half later, the bottom half of my hair was platinum blond, the top was deep brown and I had two, yes my friends, TWO PUMPKIN ORANGE RACING STRIPS running down the top of my head.  Not only was the under hair white, as in the whitest white, call me albino white, she had taken the liberty of bleaching a nice halo of albino white framing my face.  Like the wispy baby bang hairs near my ears, temples and forehead.  An albino halo!  Punctuated by bright ORANGE.  I had to get it re-dyed immediately, but went to a different salon.  That salon discovered that she had left dye on my hair, giving me chemical burns on my scalp, neck and the back of my ears.  I’ve haven't had my hair dyed at a salon since.

Since I’m the anti-cool, fashion-lacking regular gal, I’m quite intimidated by the punky color,  asymmetrical, “I’m a girl but look like a dude” or “I’m a dude but look like a girl” look that is oh-so popular with stylists.  I don’t want that look, and quite frankly, I don’t want to person cutting my hair to have that look either.  It tells me that your judgment should be questioned, and you are probably receiving transmissions from Dennis Rodman too.